The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
