i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
