It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
