he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
