Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
