Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
