i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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