i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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