That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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