C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
