Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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