Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
