Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
