Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
