Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I AM VODKA MAN
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
