Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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