Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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