You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
