Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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