I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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