im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
3pm strippers are depressing
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
