Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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