69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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