Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
