Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
