Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
