i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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