she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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