I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
