Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
