I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
