Kiss
Puke
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Randomize
