I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
