My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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