marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
