when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
