All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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