I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
