I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
