I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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