piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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