Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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