just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
