No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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