He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I am never drinking with the goths again.
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