she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
