Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
