Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
is wine microwaveable?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
