So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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