why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
