This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
