do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
