whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
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