please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
