Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Randomize
