no you cant smoke seaweed
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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