dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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